So, almost weekly when I talk to my mother she says, "you met him yet?" Meaning, someone I would want to marry. She asks this when I'm dating someone, as well as when I am not. And honestly, I love her for it! She has more hope and faith in this dept. than I do! However, in preparation for all of the relatives who will ask the same thing, (only its not appreciated when relatives ask you!) over Thanksgiving, I'm preparing my answer...here is a draft:
Hmmphmmm. Attention Please. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has recently been brought to my attention that:
My attractiveness to memebers of the opposite sex has reached new bounds this year, I have have reached new climbs I never thought I would reach, let us examin the following:
1.) Halloween weekend, my entire exploits from that weekend of parties included, one Married Man, in a Mini-Van, at the Maverick Station, whom scared me so much, I didn't fill up my whole tank of gas, but stopped at $12. He said I looked like Audrey Hepburn, love the compliment, but any of you who know me, know my figure is a little more Marilyn than it is Audrey, I leave the Audrey, figure and hair, to Panini. I like to re-tell this one because of the alliteration of the MM in a MV at the MS. LOL.
2.) Sigh, I am loney without my UVSC stalker. He came up to me a couple of months ago, in the LA building, and said, "I really like your purple eye-shadow." He waits outside my class every Monday and Wensday evenings, but this last week, he caught me slipping in a side door, way down the other end of the building trying to avoid him, and sadly, my one stalker is now--- extinct. **Sniff**. (Seriously though, one conversation with me, and he stalked me for almost 2 months, should I be scared or flattered?) jk. I know what you are thinking, don't wear purple eye-shadow!
3.) I went to vote last night. Yes, yes I did. And I car-pooled with a local-neighborhood-aspiring-politician. On the way out we were asked to do an exit poll. My aspiring-politic-neighbor, got into a very long conversation over various issues and Mayoral candidates with Barbie and Ken, who live up the road from us. Barbie and the neighbor talked a very long time, and Ken, Barbie's husband said to me, "your obviously 'the wife.'" I said, no, no, I'm not acutally,....(more words)....but we live down in XXXX, just down the road from you." "Oh...you do....that's great." The effect was not lost on Ken, or me, realizing what I had just said. Getting into the car, I let my neighbor know that I was now, NOT his wife, but his LIVE-IN girlfriend! LOL. It really was funny, that path to sin really is a quick one! jk. And now the local politics, think I am an unavaliable, sinful, girlfriend. JK.
Disclaimer: Yes, these stories are true. Yes, I am still single, and am not, a live-in girlfriend. Yes, I find in humor in being single. Bring it on. JK.
Welcome to the world, Anderson Caldwell
1 month ago