Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Jealous of my Love life yet?

So, almost weekly when I talk to my mother she says, "you met him yet?" Meaning, someone I would want to marry. She asks this when I'm dating someone, as well as when I am not. And honestly, I love her for it! She has more hope and faith in this dept. than I do! However, in preparation for all of the relatives who will ask the same thing, (only its not appreciated when relatives ask you!) over Thanksgiving, I'm preparing my is a draft:

Hmmphmmm. Attention Please. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has recently been brought to my attention that:

My attractiveness to memebers of the opposite sex has reached new bounds this year, I have have reached new climbs I never thought I would reach, let us examin the following:

1.) Halloween weekend, my entire exploits from that weekend of parties included, one Married Man, in a Mini-Van, at the Maverick Station, whom scared me so much, I didn't fill up my whole tank of gas, but stopped at $12. He said I looked like Audrey Hepburn, love the compliment, but any of you who know me, know my figure is a little more Marilyn than it is Audrey, I leave the Audrey, figure and hair, to Panini. I like to re-tell this one because of the alliteration of the MM in a MV at the MS. LOL.

2.) Sigh, I am loney without my UVSC stalker. He came up to me a couple of months ago, in the LA building, and said, "I really like your purple eye-shadow." He waits outside my class every Monday and Wensday evenings, but this last week, he caught me slipping in a side door, way down the other end of the building trying to avoid him, and sadly, my one stalker is now--- extinct. **Sniff**. (Seriously though, one conversation with me, and he stalked me for almost 2 months, should I be scared or flattered?) jk. I know what you are thinking, don't wear purple eye-shadow!

3.) I went to vote last night. Yes, yes I did. And I car-pooled with a local-neighborhood-aspiring-politician. On the way out we were asked to do an exit poll. My aspiring-politic-neighbor, got into a very long conversation over various issues and Mayoral candidates with Barbie and Ken, who live up the road from us. Barbie and the neighbor talked a very long time, and Ken, Barbie's husband said to me, "your obviously 'the wife.'" I said, no, no, I'm not acutally,....(more words)....but we live down in XXXX, just down the road from you." " do....that's great." The effect was not lost on Ken, or me, realizing what I had just said. Getting into the car, I let my neighbor know that I was now, NOT his wife, but his LIVE-IN girlfriend! LOL. It really was funny, that path to sin really is a quick one! jk. And now the local politics, think I am an unavaliable, sinful, girlfriend. JK.

Disclaimer: Yes, these stories are true. Yes, I am still single, and am not, a live-in girlfriend. Yes, I find in humor in being single. Bring it on. JK.


SJ said...

Ken and Barbie, awesome. When you first mentioned local neighbor/aspiring politician I immediately thought of Jeremiah, yes?

Scully said...

I think that once you are over the age of 25, men fall into three main categories: Married, PsychoStalker, and Unatainable. I'm guessing that in the ML book club the latest gossip is going to be about you skanking it up in Provo. Maybe everyone will forget about me skanking it up in D.C.!

Esperanza said...

SJ, you are correct, and Scully, that sounds like a good idea, well, maybe not. Chad asked me one time how long he thought it would take a rumor to get all around ML relief society sisters in all 10 wards if the rumor started out with his mother...LOL.

Scully said...

Esperanza, he asked me the same thing. I suggested starting with my parents' neighbor to get optimal results, and even offered to start one for him, but he couldn't think of what he wanted the rumour to be.

aquamarine said...

I think your Thanksgiving audience will be floored and ask for an encore next year!!! And you are very right about ML. You have to be careful about the wildfires that burn there.

Sherpa said...

can't wait to hear your audience's reactions to that. superb!!

I get that question from my mom all the time.

A couple of days ago I got an e-mail from an Aunt in Utah saying, "I found your husband..." and then the next paragraph was wait, are you serious with anyone? Cracked me up.

SJ said...

My mom used to pick out where I'd have my reception, swearing the whole time she wanted me to take my time. Now she just tells me to lose weight.

Panini said...

-laughing about those stories (I was at the Maverick and what she speaks is true.)
-sorry about the stalker, but honey...that's just good.
-laughing about Scully's 3 categories
-totally laughing about the ML rumor chain!! Oh my gosh! Wouldn't that be awesome? Last year, for fun, some kids started a rumor that I was pregnant with was calculated, in my classroom and I let them do it---but then all my other students were believing it! Me! Pregnant with twin! Honestly...too funny.
-thanks for giving Audrey, that warmed my heart.
p.s. Walking, do you know ML, our hometown...Do we know each other in person?!

aquamarine said...

Yes Panini and Esperanza, I do have a confession. You both know me very well from ML (lots of history there) and from many trips to BYU dances, dorm room visits,(the one you both shared), etc.

Scully said...

Panini, Esperanz, you both should check out Walking's blog. You should be able to guess who it is in a matter of moments. We were all pretty tight in HS. That is until Walking was torn from ML our senior year.

Panini said...

Walking!!! LOL!! No way!! I totally know who you are w/o going and checking your blog yet (I'm going to) because I kept thinking HOW MUCH YOU WERE LIKE OUR OLD FRIEND...oh that is too funny!!! What is your story???!!! I didn't even know you were in AZ!! I thought you were in WA!! How did you find us on here!!? Did you know it was us?! And you kept it a secret!! And here I was introducing Esperanza to you...telling her...'you have to go read Walking's blog, I totally feel like we're friends, you're going to love her,' That is just too funny and so crazy!!!! I thought you were a just some random girl in AZ, so funny we don't even need to know who you are to immediately feel it. I am so blown away!! ;) Love you!!