Friday, December 16, 2005


Is it requisite to have an identity crises every time you get your hair cut? For me it is....I am officially never ever going to be asked on another date again! I have the ugliest hair on the planet! I know its wrong, and vain, but my hair is a huge part of my identity, and now I look like a bad 35 years old cut from 10 years ago! No matter who I go to, they underestimate my mane of hair that is so thick, I always leave looking like I am wearing a Cleopatra wig! Okay, its not that short this time, but short enough that I bawled my eyes out, and my parents were serious wondering who they let back in their house this Christmas! Am I brave enough to rev it up with my own snips? NEVER, go the hair-dresser your mom does!!! I have been given this advice before, and ignored it.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


1. They overbooked my flight home by 10 people...guess who spent 7 hours in the SLC airport, but now has $400, to use where ever Delta flies! Guess I am going to have to take a vacation by next Dec. 16th!

2. Since my sister lives in Germany, and my brother is on his mission, it is my turn to bond with dad. Spent a little over an hour in the Ranch & Home store...and so much more. Jeans were on sale for $9.99, no, I didn't buy any.

3. I know I am home when mom says, "I liked your hair best when..." This time she was assertive, and now my hair will be chopped in approx. 2 hours from now. Are moms ever satisfied? This is my question.

4. And what am I going to do for the next 3 weeks? Hmph. Boy, oh boy.

Monday, December 12, 2005

The Place Where Computers Go to Die

I have taken to calling my bedroom, The Place Where Computers Go to Die*, because I have become a collecting spot for used computers. I inherited by brother-in-law's old Windows 98 Laptop, and then my brother's roomate's (who went on a mission) 3 year old XP, which he didn't want anymore, and then a 4 year old 98 from my parents, two printers and a scanner. Herein lies the problem. The XP had a hard drive crash, (probably from video games and music downloads the kid had on it), and I sent it to my parents who reinstalled a new hard drive, and it now lives in the geneology library in my home stake. The 98 my parents gave me works, although it doesn't have a word processor on it, (duh), but the printer won't, and the laptop I take everywhere has Word Perfect on it, and an archaic version at that! My roomates computer has 98 on it, but it mysteriously erases floppy disks. So, no matter what I do I have computer problems! If I type on the laptop, the Word Perfect docs, won't open in Word, and the XP docs from the library computers won't open in any of the 98's at my apartment! Oddly, I have had jobs fixing computers/software problems, and don't own a nice computer myself....When I am rich, a nice laptop will be the first thing I will buy! Until then, aghhghh!!!! Its amazing I get anything done!

*Spoof of the old Disney movie, Island at the Center of the Earth, which has in it, The Place Where Whales Go To Die, really quite disturbing, dead peices of whale everywhere and lots of dense fog!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Luxurious Like Egyptian Cotton

Some people would secretly like to escape to a spa, to the mountains, to the ancient ruins of Rome, or to the library. I would secretly like to escape to a Lush life. Walking in sparkly clothing, dripping with sparkly diamonds, walking down sparkly lit streets, shopping in sparkly stores, and then hop into my black chevy silverado, and drive through the streets filled with big city lights! Okay, scratch that, my very handsome boyfriend, or chauffer, driving me past the streets filled with big city lights! In my secret life, I am luxurious!

So, the closest I can probably get, is last night with Scully, dressed in heels, P-Coats, her's burgundy and mine camel, hats and purses, walking from her high rise apartment in SLC, to the Gateway Mall, which is lit for the holidays, eat at cheap but delicious Costa Vida, and have Scully humor me while I imagined buying sparkly clothes at Banana Republic, trying on sparkly coctail rings at Z-Gallerie, and coveting EVERYTHING in Anthropologie, where I gave in and bought one, on-sale $8.00 sparkly photo frame!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Awakening, and Positive Thinking

The Awakening

I am (right now) positively thinking about how wonderful it will be to skip all of my classes tonight, because really, who needs to go to a literature class discussing Kate Chopin's The Awakening, that started heated arguments (which I contributed to) during Monday's class, about who was right and who was wrong in that novella. If you haven't read it, the protagonist, Edna, wakes up one day realizing there is more to life than her husband and kids, and considers an affair with a certain young Robert, who loves her more, and gives her more attention and more appreciation than her husband, (who mistreats her a little). And you know, there are some things men and women are never! going to agree on. All the girls in the class felt sympathy for her, and how she felt constrained by her roles in life, and how it wasn't so odd she should have an identity crises. One girl quoted Frued who said that "anatomy determines destiny," and how by virtue of being a woman, a girl will eventually find herself a wife and/or mother. She added that different women fill these roles differently, and it is not necessarily an easy task!

The boys said, she could have done this, and this, and this, and that to make her marriage better, it was her fault, how dare she even think about another man/another life, what a stupid woman! (Neither side condoned adultery, but the men were sooo unsympathetic, it was amazing!) I don't want to walk into that battlefield again tonight!

Positive Thinking

Yesterday I was sure my life was awful, and I could have blogged all about these awful things, and I might still...but I decided to try the power of positive thinking on for size. It was spurred by Panini's inviting me over for dinner. She makes killer Borsch! All I needed was a little blood-red-soup, containing beef, three onions, two garlic cloves, and a whole lot of beets and cabbage, combined with some nice girls and cute boys to eat with, and I felt better! I decided to think positive, life is not so bad. I then discovered, the treacherous snow-driving, provided an opportunity for me to have better driving skills; that the song on the radio, (bad, but so deliciously good), "Come A Little Closer," by Dirks Bently was the perfect mood music for studying in the library, that BYU library stays open until 2 a.m. during finals, which provide me with quality time with my lab top and books, and that oreos and good-boy-conversation with my roomate who was still awake when I returned was a perfect ending to my day. There are things to be thankful for everyday.

Monday, December 05, 2005

I Judge by Appearances

Okay, not always, but I do. When am I ever going to stop doing this? I was writing a paper on the religious dialogue of the writers of the American Renissance today at the Provo Pub Lib, and a smelly, long haired, bearded, sports atire wearing, obviously unwashed man sat right in front of me. I reacted with a wrinkled up nose of repulsion. He came and left the lab a few times, as did I, and on one of his absences I peaked at his paper work. Yep! He is writing a very interesting paper on some aspect of the nature of women, with a whole pile of libabry books with literary criticism in them! When he returned he made a really cute quip about red heads being the smartest women! I laughed and smiled~ he made my afternoon, with his friendlienss. And I got a little pain in my side, over my judgemental-ness!

You would think I would learn! A few years ago KBYU sent a couple of students down to L.A. to interview some students participating in the affirmitive action movement in California public schools. I was taken out to dinner with a couple of multi-cultural students. We went to The Burbon Street Grill, (Yum!) I of course declined the beverages! A young man named Carlos told me of growing up on the streets and in the slumns of East L.A. He had a scar on his face, gangster attrire, and a lisp. As he told me of the struggles of poor, minoirty students getting into/through college, I felt cozy, and admittedly a little priviledged. We then talked literature. He was an English major at UCLA, on scholarship. I mentioned that I was studing English/Journalism, and had a love for literature as well. He proceeded to ask me if I had read this person and that, and I gulped in humility, as I realized that he had read 100 circles around me! I guess I was feeling not so much guilty about not having read as much as him, as I was feeling guilty at judging his intellegence by his racial idenity, economic status, and apparel. I didn't believe that at poor, gangster-like man could have read so much more than me. I was humbled, and I respected him, for his intellegence, and the drive he had to get into and succeed in college. It was a paradeim shifting experience for me, and even though I don't judge near as much as I used to, I still kick myself when I do.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Watch out men, I got up this morning...

I woke up today with a condition. A condition that I am not ashamed to admit~ is not an anomoly! Every so often I just wake up in such a good mood I can hardly stand it. And I feel so utterly in love, its ridiculous. (Esp. when I'm not in love with anyone!) Maybe its the gray sky, or the oreos I had for breakfast with my yogurt, or the romantic book I finished last night at 1 a.m., or any number of odd things, but sometimes I just wake up, and any man could probably make me fall in love with him that day! Crazy, I know. I just feel warm, and fuzzy, and content, and I will probably smile at everyone I see today. Yes, I'm odd! But I love it~.