It is interesting to me that you have to be able to show your vulnerability in order to get help. I recently had the spirit send over my Relief Society President to my house late Sunday night to see if I needed anything. It was inspiration on her part because it was perfect timing. I had just started crying when my home teachers were over and as soon as they left I reduced myself into loud sobbing. The wonderful R.S. Pres., in our ward used to by my vist-teach-ee, so we have a comfortable relationship, but it was still so embarrassing to have her see me break down! But you know, I appreciated more than she can imagine, her listening ear as I complained all about my life. I knew that I needed someone to talk to or my emotions would burst, but I wanted to keep up the facade that I had it all together. It's amazing that the Lord knows exactly what we need, and sometimes sends people to help anyway. And it sure didn't hurt when she made me dinner the next night too, and delivered it at my door. I guess you're never too young to receive a "relief society casserole."
'Tis the season when I find just as many things I want to buy for me as things I want to give to others. For someone who loves shiny, sparkly, things, Christmas sections in stores just about do me in! Ornaments, cocktail rings, sparkly dresses, table runners, garlands, stockings! Happy shopping! Here is to self-control.
Alas~ words to wisdom from the 90's song, "Bust a Move" (in case you didn't catch the reference). LOL. This is what my friend Krista and I decided needs to be our new theme song! Trying to date seems like a joke sometimes! There is a persistent man who has now asked me out 4 x and we still have not gone out, my roomate Crissy is trying to set me up with her new boyfriend's roomate, apparently 12-15 year old boys find me really attractive, which I find really creepy, there is a hot, hot, hot, no-mo as SJ would say that smokes and has tatoots that keeps flirting with me that I keep running away from, and I just want to scream, because he is a temptation! AND--sorry to keep going with the pop references, "I'm running out of ways, running out of ways of running away...running out of time, time time." And that is how I feel lately. I'm tired of running away from relationships, guys, marriage, committment, but I have to keep running away from the bad, bad options, and yet how then do you train yourself to run to the good options? Speaking of, my hot fantasy boy from across the street, was at our stake quilting activity/service project and he threaded my needle for me, but when he was doing it, of his own free will, he approached me, neither of us looked each other in the eyes, and agian I want to say--is 31? and am I 27? or are we both 14? It was sweet though, I have to admit. Hot men at quilting activites...hmm...he probably had to go because he is his ward's EQP. And well, Panini and I were recounting some pretty funny/harrowing running away dreams if you want the full scoop. Alas~ how do we pick up and keep on going? I don't know. Just remember that "every dark tunnel has a light of hope, so don't hang yourself with a celebate rope." LOL.