This poem is dedicated to all of my wonderful friends who have, like me, so many ambitious things we are working on! Grad schools, publications, hopefully-future-dates, art work, fiction writing, self-improving-work-out goals, and all of the various other dreams we pressure ourselves with! NEVER STOP dreaming!
Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams For when dreams go Life is a barren field Frozen with snow.
~Zora Neale Hurston also said that her mother taughter her kids to always jump for the sun, because even if they didn't land on the sun, at least they would be getting off the ground! I echo these statements!
I smiled at a cute boy yesterday! *sigh* It was wonderful. He was staring at me and didn't smile back, just kept staring, so I felt like a totally retard in the eye-locking, but I smiled! That was an accomplishment for me! Now, I can talk and smile and ect., with boys, but this particular boy has me spell-bound. He is my real-life fantasy boy, and he lives in the ward next door. And I smiled at him. Sweet moments~. Sweet success~. Just because I gave him my most-retarded-ever-smile from my 50 smile repretoire, doesn't matter--because my whole life I have had the staring down, but not the staring and smiling, for some reason my eyes were endowed with all of the expression in my face, and my smile well, it has a hard time catching up!
Some truly beautiful quotes from Zora Neale Hurston:
"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men." (1)
"She was stretched on her back beneath the pear tree soaking in the alto chant of the visiting bees, the gold of the sun and the panting breath of the breeze when the inaudible voice of it all came to her. She saw a dust-bearing bee sink into the sanctum of a bloom...and the ecstatic shiver of the tree from root to tiniest branch creaming in every blossom and frothing with delight....She was sisteen. She had glossy leaves and bursting buds and she wanted to struggle with life but it seemed to elude her. Where were the singing bees for her?...Looking, waiting, breathing short with impatience. Waiting for the world to be made." (11)
"There are years that ask questions and years that answer." (21)
"Janie's first dream was dead, so she became a woman." (25)
"Love ain't somethin' lak uh grindstone dat's de same thing everywhere and do de same thing tuh everything it touch. Love is lak de sea. It's uh movin' thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from de shore it meets, and it's different with every shore." (191)
"Here was peace. She pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulder. So much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see." (193)
- If you find these depressing and beautiful, you are right, but they are still to me, very beautiful imagery! They are from Their Eyes Were Watching God, which I think truly has a lot of insights about being a woman, starting with our earliest dreams and illusions, things unfullfilled, and then resolving to see the beauty our own individual life has given us, seeing its green and gold, in its own individual expression, and then at the end of life, satisfied with the ebb and flow and seeing the beauty of the entire tapesty, and then being at peace~.
I just wanted to encourage accountability in myself by reporting on the progress of my New Year's 2006 Resolutions after 3 months. Some good, some bad, some ugly. And I should like Walking, add a few more goals after listening to General Conference...
3. Stop saying that one little swear word that slips out. 5. Stop freaking out when hot men talk to me. 11. No more purses or shoes, I have enough already. 19. Do well in school. 21. Publish a Paper.
Not perfect--but have seen some significant progress:
4. Stop buying scrapbook paper until I use what I have. 17. Have more charity. 6. Take better care of skin, moisturizing, sun screen ect., 7. Be a better sister to both of my sisters. 10. Stop eating so much salt.
On going struggles:
1. Attend Enrichment regularly. 8. See my grandparents more often. 13. Some good dates with some good guys. 18. Be a more patient driver.
Haven't Done Yet at All:
2. Run a 10 k. 9. Go on one fabulous vacation. 14. Keep Better Tabs on World News. 15. Read, Preach My Gospel 16. Hike Mt. Timpangoos