Black

I'm feeling burned out. Burned out of everything! Today was not a good school day. And I have been sick with a sinus infection for the last week and 1/2. They say new teachers catch everything and it is true! I also admitted to myself that I like someone and that stinks because then you want them to like you and that leaves you feeling like you are wanting something, and I don't want to want something. I do want something. A break, a tropical vacation, a hot man, a pizza. Alas, my black cloud will leave tommorrow, I bounce back quick, you know me! but today. Black.

Suddenly...Back in High School

I am finding myself suddenly back in high school, only the high school experience I never had. Explaination:

1 - I am part of the big "Spirit Bowl," competition in the assembly tommorrow. Never done that before. (Licorise eating contest, should have just said no?)

2- 16 year old boy in my English class can't stop staring at me, in class, in the hallways, he turns his body around to 1/2 way face me if I sit in the back of the class to quiet the noisy ones. Okay, so I had that a few times in high school, this however, is creepy.

3- I was featured in the newspaper: favorite quote, who's your hero?, what are your aspirations in life, with a photo. Never been a featured interview before.

4- I am standing in long lunch lines for turkey gravy--this time however, I get to take cuts!

5- Bad, bad tests, however this time I get to write them! Jk. My tests are infallaible! LOL.

6- Progress reports, only this time I am sending them, instead of waiting for my parents to open them and read "Good student. Talks too much during class time."

7- Again, PHS shirt, wearing school colors, only this time it says, "Faculty." I have traded my maroon and gold for green and white.

8- Crushes on male teachers, mmmhmmm, only this time I could date a teacher? Weird.

Leaving Me Wanting More...

Gosh, a little taste here and there of the good life leaves you wanting more. I guess you take the good with the bad and focus on the good and be satisfied, enjoy life! I went to a grammar workship this weekend and my prof. who helped me get my job at PHS told me she was recommending me to other schools that are hiring, telling them how wonderful I was! Then at the Ms. Pulitizer Prize event Panini and I went to, I ran into my prof. who is helping me publish and took me to the UCUR conference was saying what a "brillian academic writer," she thinks I am, and put in a plug for graduate school again. Its nice to feel recognized! But today was a slightly disasterous day at school, it happens and you think hmmm, w here was the euphoria from before? Or, you get an email from a hot man, you go out with some hot guys over the weekend which Panini and I did, (the good-life-feeling), then you have 16 years old hit on you and creepy men at gas stations and you wonder...huh....how was that again? I'm convinced you just have to take the sweet moments and let them float you through the raunchy ones! That's life!

I will have to say Ms. Pulitizer Prize read her work to us, and I thought wow, if you could just transfer all the beauties of life, even the harsh realities of life--which in their own way are moments of grace, and are thus beautiful, onto paper, you could leave a peice of your soul, the peice of her soul, although not her own life experiences were so aesthetic and beautiful. I truely believe we are all aethetic and beautiful in our own ways. I wish sometimes we could really see people's souls.

Rambling.

I guess I just have the desire sometimes to do soemthing beautiful, to be something beautiful, to leave a mark on the world in my own unique way..."Oh, that I were an Angel," as Alma says....

Condoms Huh?

So, as you know I was presenting my paper Escape not Death: The Madness of the Metamorphosis on Friday at the UCUR conference, which went really well. But--the real drama happened while I was gone. Okay, background. Michelle and I have been having our students read a play by Steve Martin called, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, and we had the students perform a scene. Michelle and I brought props from home, hats, scarves, shalls, jackets, vests, and little did we know one of our students had slipped a condom into one of the vest pockets. It remained there, for about 4 days, but it also remained a fun little secret with the boys all over the 10th grade! Yep, they circulated the fact that there were condoms in Ms. E's and Mrs. W's classroom. One "brave" student on Friday taunted Michelle and told her that there was a suprise in the vest. She was like, don't be dumb what is it. He withdrew the condom and laughing threw it into the middle of the classroom. Yeah, glad I wasn't there for that one! Can you image? Half the class was hysterical, and the other half were shocked out of their seats. Why do I get to miss all the fun? Jk.