Friday, March 20, 2009

The Daily Soap Opera



that is teaching high school. Here is my top 10 from the past two weeks. I promise it is funny!

1-I discovered while making a grading rubric for 5-paragraph essays that if you leave the “h” out of Thesis Statement, spell check will correct your phrase to say Testis Statement.

2-The 2nd highest grade in my 11th grade class this term is a Hispanic gangster kid—he has gotten a D- every other term, this term an A+, telling me that Huckleberry Finn can reach all students—including my minority students.

3-I got asked to the prom in an essay this week, and I quote: “Ms. E, you are the most beautiful girl in the hole school I would die if you were my girlfriend it would be really cool if you went to prom with me but I understand if you have other plans, love ------.” Had to turn that one down, but couldn’t help laughing!

4-Two of my Hispanic gangster girls told me I remind them of a VAMPIRE—in a good way---. Something to do with the Twilight generation, I think. I choose to take that as a compliment!

5-We listened to Kanye West’s Golddigger in my class this week. Don’t worry; it was the radio-edited version. It is actually the perfect song to use while teaching Lyric Poetry. It has end rhyme, slant rhyme, repetition, allusion, narrative, meter, and euphony. Nice.

6-“[If you give me an A] I will tell you where Mr. W lives---I know where he hides his spare key!” (Had to turn that one down too).

7-Phone Conversation: “I think if my son (who is earning at 30% in your class) at least comes to your class every time (but doesn’t read or do homework) deserves to get at least a D in your class.” LOVE Badgering parents.

8-“Miss E, have you even tried eHarmony, why not? I think you should.”

9-Angry, ANGRY, A-N-G-R-Y parent who thinks we are smearing his daughter’s name and making her sound loose because in her student highlight in the school newspaper it says that she said that if she were stranded on a desert island she would bring a b-o-y with her. Yeah, definitely makes her sound like a prostitute. Hmmhmmm. I’d be concerned too! Our student newspaper—spreading smut one issue at a time! We do what we can.

10-This amazing poem written by one of my little gangter boys:

I wish I had dimes
for every one of my crimes
What a rich man I'd be
If I had that kind of money
If that was the case
I wouldn't be in this place
And work all day
Without a pay
I wish I could fly
Up so high
If I could have all the dimes
I wouldn't have to do my crimes
But in the end
All I need is a friend
That will be there till the end

-F.C., age 15

8 comments:

Relaxed Cat said...

those are great! "a boy"... why didn't i ever think of that when I dreamed about that scenario? excellent! ;)

by the way--did you tell him he could buy a sense of humor from his daughter?

Relaxed Cat said...

p.s. #3 is so so sweet

Katie said...

I LOVE these! P.S. I wish we taught at the same high school.

Missy said...

Maybe she wants a boy to be there to lift the heavy palm trees? Did the dad think of that? ;-)

Loved your list!

The last poem says quite a lot too doesn't it! I love how you get your students to open up. :)

Michelle said...

I want to know at what point you found out the spell check did its magical change. Was it in front of your class?

Unknown said...

Thankfully I caught the spell check error right before I made my copies, and quickly went back to the word doc and changed it, can you imagine?!?

JMadd said...

How do you get the point of Goldigger if you listen to the radio edited version? I'm just sayin'.

Missy said...

That is great! I'm sure you could post these every week! You are the coolest teacher to play Kanye in English!