I think the universe is trying to tell me something. While trying to work towards becoming this:
I did this to myself,
(see below) on accident:
I have been working on my future-wife skills, not that there is a future-husband yet, but if you build it, they will come, right?
I am cooking something new and exciting once a week, taking pre-natal vitamins, eyeing cute baking-ware in the grocery store; I even substituted in the nursery last week at church and didn't have a panic attack at the onslaught of germs. And I am going out regularly.
At the same time I am working towards nesting, I am also planning trips (in my mind) to Peru, Egypt, India, Spain, anywhere; imagining possibly earning my PhD in education from some university back East, and browsing the latest sweaters and skirts from Anthropologie and wanting to own half of them, the expensive half. I'm holding on dearly to the idea of the single life because that is all I've known.
I am experiencing cognitive dissonance: the flow of two incompatible ideas at once. I have a strange desire to start a nesting phase, and at the same time keep a healthy escape hatch. The result? Butternut Squash and thumb-sliced soup.
Ironically, I was texting a cute boy while chopping up the squash, and thus sliced my thumb.
Welcome to the world, Anderson Caldwell
1 month ago