I am not old enough to...

Date your dad.
I am old enough to live in a house
to have a credit card
to run a successful savings account
have two college degrees
to buy what I want when I want to
to fly over the ocean by myself
to have a grown-up job
to have a cell phone
to buy my own new car
to have a fake Christmas tree
to own couches
to wear dark eyeliner
to wear lipstick to the gym.
I am old enough to date your brother,
your uncle, your cousin,
BUT NOT YOUR DAD.
I don't care if he thought I was cute at
Parent Teacher Conferences.
I am not old enough to date your date,
or inherit you as 17 year old son.
And despite what my mother says,
I don't think I'm old enough to date at 38 year old.