Where I Work According to Disney!

Okay, so these photos are not as interesting as I thought they would be, but they are filming a Disney Channel Origional Movie on Main Street about a 1/2 mile from where I work! We do have a lovely, quaint Main Street area with narrow, one-way streets, but I promise it doesn't look like this everyday! Apparently this is what small-town America looks like!

The movie is going to be called Hatching Pete and stars several of my students as extras! And the high school drill team and marching band will be in the movie as well. The movie premise is a small town high school mascot does not want his identity to be discovered--it would be the end of his social life!!!!--and eventually his secret rooster-costume-wearing-identity is hatched! Oh, no!

p.s. Now that I look at these photos again, they didn't actually have to doctor up the town too much.... :)

People Outside of Utah

Are not freaky, devilish, and strange--at least not all of them. LOL. A student teacher at my school was talking about how "scared" SCARED she is of the thought of EVER living outside of the state of Utah. SCARED of the people out there. I held my tongue, but wanted to say hey, I grew up outside of Utah, and I am a little scared that you have that opinion of people outisde of this state, and think it is a little close-minded of you to never even desire to live outside of the state. I am not trying to be critical of those of you who want to live in Utah forever, I am just saying--from the point of view of someone who grew up outside of Utah, we are not strange, and I did not feel endangered or weird living in Washington. There are good people everywhere, there are scary people everywhere, and as a high school teacher in the state of Utah, there is sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll here just like everywhere else--.

Utah was an adjustment for me, as it is for a lot of people who move into the state, but I like it, I really do. But it is healthy and wonderful to have the mix of cultures and peoples that you find in other states. I think it is probably likewise very healthy to live in another state at one point in your life, or atleast travel around and see that life outside of Utah is intersting, and wonderful, and there are good, conservative people of other faiths out there, who are not scary, and make nice neighbors.

I am sorry if I offended anyone!

The Hope of America

I have a good friend who every time he talks to me asks me, "How is the hope of American doing today?" meaning my teaching experience and my kids. And today if I responded to that I would have to say, the hope of America is all worn out! If you want to know what teaching is like click on Katie's blog link and read about all of her worries! I share them! :D

I do what I can for my kids, some I help, some I don't, and that is a trick to teaching. Who do you help? I had a kid come to me yesterday with a 69.50% in my class and he is in super-trouble with the law and has to go to court today and bring a transcript of his grades. He needs to have at least a C- or is is in BIG trouble. Now, he comes to class, is not super-smart, but he does come and tries, so I let him make an extra credit project (see above) for 25 points that will roll him up to a 70.15% in my class, and thus a C-. Saved a kid from jail.

Student #2 came to talk to me the other day, and said he has to go to jail if he skips one more class. He skipped one more class--mine. "Please Ms.E, please just don't mark me gone, or I'll be going to jail!" I refused to help him. Not only because that would make me a liar, but because he has only shown up to my class: TWICE. I told him I would never lie to him, but would have been more inclined to be sympathetic, if he had had his bum in one of my seats at least "most" of the time. Jail for him, and has he reformed now that he is out? Well, he has come ONE more time to my class.

I will have to say though, I do have some hope for America when I recieve responses like the following for novels I teach:

"The most important lesson I learned from Huckleberry Finn was it doesn't matter what time you were born in. Or what kind of environment you were raised in. You can still have a good heart and do what's right. Huck had a good heart in a warped society. He treated Jim kindly and helped him escpae to help his family. Huck could have turned him in any time but didn't."

AND one of my students left one of our journalism cameras in another teacher's classroom for two days and it was still there this morning when I retrieved it! Still sitting on the SAME desk, NOT stolen, but YES, full of pictures of people's nostrils. LOL.

Nice. Hope for America.

MY 10 ADDICTIONS

1. Scrapbook Paper

I was buying some scrapbook paper yesterday and realized I am addicted! I then thought about all the things I am legally addicted to. I weaned myself off of shoes and purses, only to focus my attention elsewhere! So, I thought I would let you all know a little more about me by telling you 10 things I am absoultely addicted to!



2. Cafe Rio



3. The Radio




4. The Internet

5. Lipstick


6. Chocholate

7. Novels

8.Cliff Bars

9. The Color Black




10. Work

The L-I-S-T

1. Scrapbook Paper
2. Cafe Rio
3. The Radio
4. The Internet
5. Lipstick
6. Chocholate
7. Novels
8. Cliff Bars
9. The Color Black
10. Work

(going to the gym would be a close-11)

National Good Grammar Day

So it has been brought to my attention that today is National Good Grammar Day, and according to MSN one of the top reasons good grammar is important is because "Good Grammar is Sexy," women will overlook men who have grammatical errors in their personal ads and dating profiles! :D Take or it or leave it; it is National Good Grammar Day.

And in honor of what probably should be every good English teacher's favorite holiday, (even though I have bad grammar in my blogs because it tends to be stream of conciousness), I will tell you all that I solved a long standing family argument a few days ago. One of my students said she constantly argues with her mom as to whether "nuther" is a word. She said her mom will say, "There is nuther basket of laundry for you to fold," and she will tell her mom nuther is not a word, it is another. And her mom will say, "No it's not, you don't say, 'here is "a" another basket of laundry for you to fold!'" And so they argue..... She came to me to settle the arugment: "Ms. Baker, is "nuther" a word?" :D My 11th grader really wasn't sure...esp. since we are reading Huckleberry Finn, and he says "nuther" all the time, which shook her faith in the belief that "nuther" is not a word.

Too funny.

Where I will be in 30 days!!!

In 30 days I am going to be an irresponsible teacher and take a week off before spring break and go to Italy! We will be going to Rome, Florence, Venice, Asisi, and Pisa! I'm sooo excited!

And I give it 4 STARS!

You absolutely have to see this movie! This is seriously the best movie I have seen in a while. It has the perfect blend of fairy tale/reality, modern/Victorian Mod, fun and love/coming of age and hard times. Without being didactic it has a good message about sense of self, and is also very, very romantic!

And this guy is growing on me, the male lead, he is in Narnia and Becoming Jane, but he is definitely cutest in this movie. He does the hesiate-before-kiss moment so well! :D

Apparently this is what I look like when I am throwing up in front of hundreds of people!

Who: Mr. Rockwood and I eating Alkaseltzer and Sprite.
What: The Spirit Bowl
When: February 2008
Where: The Lion's Den
Why: I have NO IDEA!



I promise I had NO IDEA these photos were being taken of me. So attractive, I know. I tried not to look ridiculous, but what can you do? I tried to hold it in and then I just--exploded!

Count your many blessings!

I have a really good friend in my ward, that none of you know, so don't worry, who just finally told me last night about her divorce. I didn't know she was divorced, that she was married for 3 years to a man that had lied about having a pornography problem, and then destroyed her life and their marriage over pornography and cheating. This girl is amazing, and I can't believe some people have had such hard things to go through, but it just made me realize I need to stop being in the little pity party I have been in for the last week or so and count my many blessings.

I have a very good father who has always been a righteous priestood holder and a wonderful, faithful mother. I have good siblings and a stable home life. It is true I am not married, and gett'n up there, but I have not had to worry about a husband with a pornography problem and all that brings with it. I don't feel like I am any better than this friend of mine, by any means, but I do feel very blessed that albeit I am still single, I have not had to go through what she went through.

I know none of us are devoid of the possibility of serious trials in our lives or the possibility of family members struggling with serious sin, but I feel, (a) really blessed this morning, (b) renewed in my desire to stay away from the evil things of the world and do all I can in the future when the opportunity arises to be a righteous mother who does my very best to raise good children in a hard hard world!

Love Stories

Take the Quiz here!

Not inspired by, but strangely coincidental with Scully's post on the fantasy love affairs in Austen novels, I wanted to post on a similar vein.

I have decided my favorite drug is reading! I had today off from school and I laid in bed for 5 hours (ridiculously starting at 6 a.m.) and finished Elizabeth Gaskell's Wives and Daughters, (thanks to for Scully for the Christmas present!)I read the last 250-ish pages this morning and finished with a feeling of contentment about life that I have not experienced in weeks. It has been a hard couple of weeks, and the secular-solution was reading a good love story. Somehow, when I read a good love story I feel like everything in life is wonderful, and that a million possibilites lay before me. And it must have worked, at least to some extent already because I talked to a cute guy after FHE for 20 minutes! Ha ha. Alas, it may just be the total relaxation into a world other than my own, but I love to read a good love story, be it Twilight, anything Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Gaskell, Hardy, Scott, whatever--it's my happy drug.

Too bad I can't spend every morning wrapped in warm blankets reading love stories!

Happy Valentines Day!

We got a foot of snow last night while I was in parent teacher conferences, and it is still snowing this morning! Happy Valentines Day!

A Pause to Vent

I am cold, tired, in need of a vacation, sick of grading papers, sick of students asking me why I'm not dating anyone, sick of hearing about V-day and it hasn't even happened yet, and sick of Parent Teacher Conferences! Why PHS has to have 4 PTCs a year, I don't know! I will be at the school tonight sounding like a broken record, "I'm sorry, your son/daughter is not passing my class because they are not reading Huckleberry Finn," until 8:30 p.m. tonight. I see on average 50 parents with students a PTC. Why?!?!?! Can't I just move to Hawaii or Mexico and not come back until summer time?

Side-Benefits

Okay, so teaching has its ups and downs that is for sure, but lately I have been realizing some new side benefits that I hadn't ever been warned about. I think it is so rewarding to help kids find their potenial and acheive their dreams. I helped one of my students edit and edit and edit and rewrite and rewrite and take the swear words out of, and edit again a personal essay he was submitting for a Reflections writing contest. He won! I just have to say he wouldn't have pre-edit-and-offensive-language-removal. Now, I am not taking the credit on myself, but we REALLY worked on it, and he had entered the writing contest every year for the last several years and he won this year, and was very, very proud of it! He is a hispanic-emo 17 year old, and he wrote about appearances and being misunderstood for his emo-ness, spanish descent, and the fact he is a teenager.

I have had a journalism student for the last two years who is a pretty good writer, but we've been polishing her up, a lot. And we just went to a journalism conference/competition on Friday at UVU and she won a $500 scholarship for her writing abilities! It was just really cool, knowing, again not taking credit, but we have been improving her writing~blood, sweat, and tears~for quite a while~.

I have written 7 lettters of recommendation now and have helped several students pass English class for the first time in years. You have to really take it as a compliment when kids say things, like my little cute-drugie-boy, "I don't why Miss E, but I just get something out of your class, I don't know why--but I do!"

Hmm, okay, I am miles away from some movie like Freedom Writers or whatever, but I am pleasantly suprised at how rewarding it really is, to know in a small way, you are making a difference in kid's lives.

p.s. Badly written post, don't judge, stream of consciousness:D

Sundance: definitely not a movie star!

Adventure #1: Being mistaken for a movie star. Question is, which one? So we are eating at Main Street Pasta and Noodle and this guy comes in with a group of girls and he smiles at me weird, and then looks at me and smiles at me weird, and I just smile back, confused. Then they sit in the table next to us and they keep turning around and looking at me, and it was just uncomfortable. Finally they realized I was not a movie star after eavesdropping and staring, and were REALLY embarrassed. The guy put his arm around his girlfriend and they didn't even make eye contact when they walked by again. Haha. It was embarrassing for me too--. I certainly don't look like a movie star, and have the pictures to prove it!

Adventure #2: Narrowly escaping going to a gay-zombie-porn movie. So, we were walking outisde the Egyptian theatre on Main Street and they were handing out free tickets to the movie premeir. There were three of us and they could only give us two, so we decided not to go in, but thought about it with regret--that is until we were on the shuttle and we ran into a couple we had sat by on the way in. They had accepted free tickets, and yeah--. Apparently it was a "social commentary" about how society doesn't accept "others" and was really a gay-zombie-porn movie, which most of our fellow Utah-ites and almost everyone in the theatre from who knows where, walked out of very, very quickly. *Whew* that was a close one!

Other than that, saw a guy from a boy-wearing-eyeliner-band and Jim Carey was supposedly there in this bar we didn't go in because the line was long, and well, it was a bar~.

It's Sweethearts Time Again!

It is time for Sweethearts! Bring back any memories? Who did I go to Sweethearts with in high school...Jared Roylance, John Galbraith, and I want to say Jason Little? But I can't remember if that was Homecoming or Sweethearts. Anyway! Here at my high school it is a girl's choice formal dance, and oh, the memories! I have several students going together and of course one girl who asked a boy in her same class pays *zero* attention to her after she asked him. Of course one girl asked one boy who used to be in our class and she is sooo anxious because he hasn't answered her yet and it has been 3 days! Maybe he didn't notice his name on the hearts plastered all over his truck? Of course one girl wants to ask another of my students who I kindly said, "there are better eggs in the batch than him!" Two of my students tried to get me to help them ask one of my other students to the dance and I was like no way! Am I going to be caught/seen plastering decoration all over one of my students cars/lockers!Can you imagine the rumors?! Anyway, happy and AWKWARD memories of high school dances, esp. girl-ask-guy!

Why is it so awkward when girls ask guys out? I know society is saying it is okay, but it sure seems like guys, at least high school guys, sure respond weird to girls asking them out! I think when guys say they like being asked out, it is that they would like to be asked out by their dream girl who may or may not exist, and when it's not, it's awkward! I don't know though, I'm not a boy, just a teacher who is secretly laughing and mourning over my students dating-choices. LOL.

In the Tradition of Bridget Jones

I'm Not Dead Yet....

In the tradition of Bridget Jones, I would like you to know on this my pre-birthday eve that I am okay being single, and my age, and that my entire body is not ~completely covered in scales underneath my clothes~ LOL. Anyway, turning the age I am and being still single hasn't been the picnic of my life, but I am doing well! I can't imagine a job I could love more, I am taking vacations and reading books, and picking up hobbies and loving my friends and family (thank you all of you for putting up with me!) and I am just fine. I have lived a full 2X years and I just, wow, get comments about my being single still at my age, so I am just here to say life is good! I love being exactly where I am at this point in my life, and you know, maybe this will be the year I meet a nice man in a reindeer sweater! LOL. So---Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!

Reflections

Mirror

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see, I swallow immediately.
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike
I am not cruel, only truthful –
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me.
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

Silvia Plath

-Beautiful metaphor of the mirror being the truth, and our reflections in the water, the way we see ourselves by moonlight is a false reflection, or false hopes and visions of ourself--if we let ourselves drown in those false reflections we can waste our life away. Interesting anyway huh? Kinda cool.

I am not a huge poetry person, but I am finding it more and more fascinating as I am teaching again for the second time. I think I am one of those kinds of people that the more I know the poetic devices and effects the poet tries to use, I appreciate it more than if I just try to read it, and don't understand how the poetic devices help create the mood/theme of the poem. I guess what I am trying to say is I am appreciating the craft of poetry more and more, vs. just reading it and not understanding as I have a tendency to do. But, what I really wanted to share is this really cool, and yes, mildly disturbing poem one of my students found, by Silvia Plath. Enjoy!

Sooooooo Cooooollllddddd!!!!

I'm sorry I don't have anything interesting to say other than it is soooo coooollllddd here in Utah I could die! I think I have the winter-January blues. There will be a high of 18 degrees today. Wow. And when I accidentally forgot to turn my heater on over the weekend, when I came into my classroom it was 42 degrees! I teach in a portable 1/3 a mile from the main building and it is an icebox outside! So bathroom trips, copy machine trips, printer trips, are long and frozen, not to mention trecherous. I just need a week of Hawaii-style weather and then I think I will be able to make it through the rest of the winter! I just want to hybernate in my bed and never get out! And if I have to get out, just wear big, warm sweaters that are not flattering but cozy! Maybe I will get a publishers clearinghouse check in the mail and can quit work and move to the tropics! JK. Any advice for staying cheerful in this cold mess? :)

If I had to vote Democrat....

Did anyone catch the double-header debates on Saturday night? Wow. Lost all respect for John McCain--his hits at Romney are reminiscent of my high school students. I have always had some respect for him, but now, none. Low blows to Mitt. Romney--I decided I really, really like, he is very intelligent and should run our country more like a business I think. Ron Paul, actually is well spoken, but he compared himself to Obama becuase they both are young and hip with young and hip followings (?) Hillary, wow. I felt bad for her for the first time in my life! The WUTR guy actually told her that the state of NH thinks she is unlikeable~. NO one, even Hillary deserves that on public television, or no woman anyway. And if I had to vote Deomcrat, which I won't, I'd definitely go Obama. He seems okay, or, very composed on t.v. anyway. Johnathan Edwards! Kill me now if he ends up being the president. He is greasy, and makes all of these wild-head-in-the-clouds promises! Not a fan. But suprisingly, according to the quiz that Panini has on her blog, I match up most closely with Rudy G.

Technology-Tied

SO, I may not be posting much for a while because I have realized I am too tied to my technology! I enter grades electronically online so if I am not at school teaching I am probably home online entering in grades. And then I start web surfing, and e-mailing and facebook checking, and wondering who has commented on my blog, and ect.,ect.,ect., and on my cell phone talking to whomever, and I just need to take a step back from all of the electronic noise! I even accidentally added a guy on facebook who is not my friend with the same name, who then proceeded to accept me as a friend and call me hot...and now, I JUST need to stop! :)

My Motivation: Gordon B. Hinckley

We have been studying the Purtians in my 11th grade class. They were such a guilt ridden culture! No forgiveness of sins ect. You know, The Scarlet Letter.... Well, we did a journal write on whether guilt was a good motivator for change. I told the kids if they said that guilt was not a good motivator, that they needed to tell me what is a good motivator for them. I received a variety of responses but this was my favorite:

"Guilt is an effective way, becuase you put a guilt trip on them. It's worked for me in the past when I did something wrong my parents put a guilt trip on me. but also my favorite motivator is Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley. He teaches the difference between right and wrong. He just teaches all good behavior. That's wy He's my favorite motivator." (17 year old boy)

This one was pretty good too:

"Guilt is an effective motivator, it eats the inside of you till you give in. It's like when you're in church and they say you can bare your testimony, even though you don't want to, guilt makes you go up there. It also makes you tell your secrets about everything, your life and other people's lives." (17 year old boy)

Only in Utah! :)

I'm Toxic

Yes, you are Brittney. But I actually feel sorry for you. Me, who is so overly judgemental of celebrites, feels sorry for you. Sorry that you are losing your kids. Don't know why, have always hated you, but it stinks. Thing is, the kids have got to be just about as bad off, if not worse, with Kevin Federline~.

www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/10/02/spears.federline

'Tis the Season to Try to be Positive

I like how Scully started her last post of “tis the season.” I was thinking how it ‘tis the end of September and time for me to hit my first burn out of the school year! I am exhausted, stressed, and everything that could possibly have gone wrong this week so far, has. So, I am trying to think about all of the good things about this season:
1. PHS won their first homecoming game in 20 years. My football boys are happy.
2. The mountains are turning beautiful colors!!! I love the fall!
3. I don’t have to use my fan at night, or roll down the windows in my car anymore.
4. I can wear a sweatshirt outside! Yeah!
5. I love the stormy, moist, cloudy, rainy, weather that comes with fall in Provo.
6. My classroom is no longer a sweat box of 90 degrees!
7. I had to scrape off my windshield this morning, it was covered in ice. Okay, okay, one complaint had to make it on this list!
8. And yeah, can’t think of a lot of good things right now, maybe there will be more good things tomorrow, after I post mid-term grades, after I spent all night at parent teacher conference, after I plan my lessons for the rest of the week….
9. I saw Hairspray, and it was really good! Love the music. I can’t wait until someone can say to me, “you’re old and your fat, but you will never be old hat to me!” Good show. I recommend it.
10. Late entry: Airborne. Airborne makes me happy; Zesty Orange flavor to be exact. Staving off the head cold—so far, mostly good.

Conspiracy Theory

You know how there was always that one teacher that you had your suspicions about? For me it was Mr. Swartz, 10th grade, Chemisty. He had a toupee, he just had to. No one's hair was that fixed. It never changed, and never moved. We speculated for hours. Now I, apparently, am the target of a conspiracy theory. Apparently, according to my 3B class, I am really a math teacher, trapped inside of an English teacher's body. Evidence: I misspell things on the white board: frequently. Guilty as charged? Who knew.

What is this the jungle?

I am being strong armed into the teacher's union! I do not want to join! I feel like I am in an Upton Sinclair novel, or in the middle of some other early 1900's story, where people are forced to join unions or die~. I know, I know, I should be responsible and join like every other teacher in Utah, not open myself up to harrassment and ostracisim from co-workers. The thing is, I don't want to spend $600 dollars a year right now on union dues. And I really, am bugged by the fact that the PHS representative of the union is my old bishop. Okay, sic my old bishop of me please! Whatever happened to separation of church and state? Of course I will feel guilty and join the union if you send my former ecclesiastical leader! Well, I love the man, I really do, he is great man. But I just don't want to be guilt-ed into the teacher's union! I have avoided him since he left me another phone call about joining the union....I also don't want to feel the need to avoid a fellow teacher/old bishop either (which said emotion I am currently feeling). But I-Do-Not-Want-To-Join! And it is my right not too!

A Thousand Words

The American Dream?

"An American Dream is something little. It is a dream that anybody can dream. It's something that happens at night when you are sleeping most of the time. It's when you dream about something American. I don't know what but something like that. You can even day dream about it. In fact that's what most people do in an American Dream. You do it in American of course. But ya, that's it what I think what an American Dream is."


I gave an assignment on the American Dream, and that response was so funny I laughed out loud. She is a conscientious student, but apparently has no clue. LOL! I also really liked the one below, and though I would share!


"I would say the American Dream is to graduate college, get a degree, have a family, and also to own a home and car. And not have to pay any more for them. Oh and to go to the mall and have a Paris Hilton shopping spree. And have no speed limits. You wouldn't get fat of off fast food. Well just to be able to eat what ever you want."


This one however, was really touching:


"It's what many immigrants think about when they come to the USA, I know because I am an immigrant; my dad told me he would hear the term all over his town "El Sueno Americano" in Mexico. Some of them achieved that just like my dad because my dad is way much better now than he was when he came here illegally. He is now a citizen and he made my whole family citizens. He says that in Mexico we would probably be really poor and I think that's true. So the American dream is freedom and being better than in the country you were in before."


I learned so much about each one of my students and our modern American culture from reading 150 of these! I hope you enjoyed stepping into the minds of my high school students!

Help! Advice.

So, that guy I kissed in CA, I have been emailing him, and we have talked on the phone a few times, now he is UT having major life threatening type surgery at Utah Valley, and I didn't know about it, until today, when his brother sent out a mass-email to his contacts about a blog they are keeping updates on his condition on. So, my question is, what do I do? anything? I emailed him after I found out, hope that's not awkward, kind of a good luck type thing, but ideas? We aren't in a relationship so, but still...what is called for? This is like a life time television movie. :)

Looks Like I Have Some Work to Do...

Your Vibe Is Secretly Sexy

Sexy isn't exactly a word you'd use to describe yourself But you have a quite allure that certain men feel appealing You don't need to flaunt your stuff to be sexier A little more confidence in yourself, and you'll really light up a room!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Vibe Do You Have?

I don't want to just be secretly sexy....ahhhhgh!

What the First Day of School Brings

To a high schooler the first day of school means:

1. You got to pick out a new outfit, lay it across your bed nights before, imagine your stunning entry in the said outfit, and tease your hair for at least an hour before you real entry into the high school.

2. Fantasies about how the guys must have gotten hotter in 3 short months, and don't guys grow any taller in that short amount of time either?

3. Maybe you will have class with just the right hot guy.

4. Maybe this will be the year you date just the right hot guy.

5. Seeing your friends on a regular basis.


To a teacher, the first day of school means:


1. The first day of sleepless nights for months.

2. The first day that cut offs are again not-okay, neither are messy buns, or flip-flops okay to wear.

3. The first day of 160 sets of hormonal/emotional either over or under inflated egos, needs are going to have to come first for 8 hours a day.

4. Home is no longer a sofa and a bed, but a classroom with 38 germ ridden desks, dirty windows, with flying white board eraser dust and a computer.

Women that Come to Tragic Ends

What kind of book characters are you normally attracted to? I have decided (just having finished The Widow of the South), that I have always been attracted to the strong women characters who have tragic lives. Hmmm. The Awakening for instance, or The House of Mirth, The Return of the Native, The Long and Fatal Love Chase, yes, The Scarlet Letter, or The Portrait of a Lady, or this most recent book I have read, The Widow of the South. There is something that awakes a sympathy in me for these women who have tragic lives, or who have tragic love lives really, sometimes undoubtably due to their own bad decisions. I just ache for these women who, some of them, marry tragically, tragically meaning, not out of love, and then find love outside of marriage and then cannot, or in some cases will not, do anything about it. (p.s. I don't condone adultry), I just feel for them! I don't know whether it is becuase I relate to the feeling, (melodramatic yes) of true love being out of their reach or our of the scope of their circumstances, do I relate to that? Never having been in love, I think the melodramatic in me feels that. Other people will read these same books, i.e. my mother, and think these women are shameful or whatnot, and I just feel for them! I guess because I long for that feeling of love myself and have never felt it. Anyway, I have one up on my mom becuase she liked tragic, revengeful characters when she was my age, Anna Karenia, Wuthering Heights, The Count of Monte Cristo, forbidden love and revenge and hate and selfish self-destruction. She laughs at it now, and can't seem to explain it. But what draws us to certain types of characters? I wish there was some sort of quiz that would tell us what book character we would be if we were in a novel. I think I would be Isabella in The Portrait of Lady. I just hope I don't come to a bad end like that....

Do you believe in Fate?

Beliving in fate has never brought me anything except for a whole lot of fantasy relationships with men! LOL. I always wonder if some things are put in our way over and over again to give us opportunity, or whether we are mysteriously on similar wave lengths with some people. I have decided, (and maybe the romance is just busted out of me by the time I am well, my age), but I can't think about it. I can't think about fate. But it always runs past my mind, and I have to keep it at that, tame. For instance:

Is it fate that I now live next door to a guy that used to not be able to keep his eyes of me, we are both still single?

Is it fate that I ran into a guy I haden't seen for 8 years who has been really good friends with a few of my friends in California at one of my best friend's house...

Is it fate that I accidentally went to the exact same temple session I did two weeks ago and the exact same cute, single man was working, and it was again, a little awkward with eye contact. I know, you don't meet people/hit on people at the temple!

Anyway, none of these things are really significant in my life, I have learned to avoid those thoughts of things being "fate," becuase then it just makes me think my life could be a Jane Austen novel, which it never will be, or I get my imagined hopes up for nothing!

Also, do you think we all have dopeldangers? I swear I saw Jennifer McFadden's today. Same hair and everything, those little weird bleach blonde strips in gelled brown curley hair....So weird. But it was not her, this girl is like 10 years younger!

AND: Elder Holland shops at JCrew. I saw him yesterday!

On Butterflies and Lightning Bugs

If you could be an insect, what kind of insect would you be? Aren't we done with these games yet? Nope. Same scenario, teacher inservice meeting, 99.9% of all the women in the room chose "butterfly," I chose "firefly/lightning bug." We had to draw our bug, hold it up and explain why we chose it for ourselves. Needless to say, I missed the butterfly mark! Why do I persist in being different? Ha ha. Anyway, my creation/choice elicited an interesting remark from our teacher-trainer, something about his hot prom date...anyway...thought I would share with you all some picutres of yes--butterflies that I took on my family vacation this summer. And to make you ask yourself...what kind of insect are you?! :)

I Confess, I Liked It.

Whatever might be said about this book being a romance novel in thin disquise--it's true. And the thing is, I have to like it anyway! It is a little bit over the top at times, but I have to hand it to the author--she has made a successful set of books! And, well, it's totally "escape" fiction, and relationship-placebo. I swear I am falling in love with the vampire at the same time the narrator is! Her mixture works, so that every woman who has ever felt "ordinary" before can imagine what it feels like to have a devistatingly handsome man choose her above all other women, and mean it. Every woman wants to be made to feel that way, by a devistatingly handsome man, or not, that there is someone who absolutely cannot stay away from her, and well, it works, it just does. So, if the plot is a little thin as well, I'm still in it for the way she hits that teenage-girl-fantasy that lives inside of each of us.

p.s. The real reason I picked up the novel in the first place is, that it is taking high school girls by storm (actually older women too) and I promised my students I would read it this summer, as well as we were all told in teacher training this week it wouldn't hurt us to be up and up on what all of our students are reading, this and Harry Potter! :)

So the Problem With...

So the problem with kissing a random guy in another state is...it makes you want to kiss more people. It reminds you that you have no one currently to kiss in your life, and that you really really, need to work on your in-house social life. So I have been listening to romantic music (this has got to stop) and every man I see is really cute. I couldn't stop staring at the institute teacher last night. Hmmm, sooo cute. My problem is, I need to stay on the horse. Ha ha. Because who likes this longing feeling?